Are men abused too? Stop the silence and begin your healing.

“Can a grown man really be a victim of abuse?”
Most people instinctively say no — or they picture someone weak, passive, or broken.

“How could a strong man like you let that happen?”
That’s what I heard when I finally spoke up.
Not “Are you okay?”
Not “What did you go through?”
Just disbelief… shame… blame.

Because the world still believes men can’t be abused.
That if you're a man, you're supposed to take it.
Be tough. Shake it off. Man up.

But here’s the truth:
I was abused — emotionally, mentally, spiritually — for decades.
Not because I was weak…
But because I loved, because I hoped, and because I believed things would change.
I stayed… tried… forgave… endured far more than I ever should have.

This isn’t a story of weakness.
It’s a story of rising — of reclaiming my worth, my peace, and my voice.
It’s the story of how I went from being a victim…
To becoming a Courageous Warrior.

It started during my childhood at about age of 7. when my dad got sick and with all the meds combined became violent. I will keep this brief as the detailed version will be in my book. My story is just one of many who have gone through similar or far worse than I did. I married the girl I met at the end of high school. 

As it turns out, we were both abused as children. And when you have been abused, you could become the abuser or stay the victim. Either way, without any help, you do not have the tools for a healthy marriage without working on it. I went from beatings, emotional turmoil, and fear into a toxic marriage where we were really both at fault as we did not work on it. Marriage is not an easy thing. It takes two people deliberately working on it. I became the victim in this 31 year relationship that survived just shy of 28 years of marriage.

In 2014, I finally left for the final time, only to realize, I had blacked out and came to with my phone ringing. I answered it and was asked where I am and told that whatever I am doing, stop and they were on their way. It was after hanging up that I realized I had a cocked pistol in my lap. I quickly jumped into another relation that was a 4-month marriage. It took a lot for me to finally determine it was time to invest in myself. From my first divorce in 2014 to 2017, I had gone through 2 divorces and the death of a fiancée.